Life is hard

sometimes life knocks you down

Life has been hard.

I’ve had migraines galore. Stress worsens them, and things have been stressful.

My cat developed swollen lymph nodes at the sides of her neck. The vet thought it was an infection and gave her antibiotics, but they continued to grow. We are now waiting to hear back if it is cancer while doing our best to make her comfortable as we await next steps. We dropped a thousand dollars (yes, you read that right) in one visit giving her fluids, running test, and getting her anti-inflammatories and pain medication.

Our fridge broke down after I decided to be proactive and make ALL the snacks in advance because my daughter will be finished with school this week. A fridge that we were blessed enough to fill with food is now all spoiled, and the hours I spent were thrown out along with our food. The fridge is under warranty, but they can’t come for days.

Then there is my daughter who is graduating from 7^th grade. The little girl that used to follow me everywhere now complains about me to her friends. Her idea of complimenting me is to say, “I guess you’re okay.” This is the same girl that used to write me page long letters telling me how much she loved me.

And yet… there is still beauty when I take the time to see it.

There’s a nest on my front porch, and I get to see the mommy bird flying back and forth as she feeds her babies. When the time comes, those little birds will spread their wings and fly away, and it reminds me that my job is to set my daughter up so that she too can spread her wings. Her desire for independence means I’m doing my job well, even if she won’t say it.

My daughter did a presentation for school about cyberbullying, and I smiled when I read it. The things I’ve said to her, the expressions I’ve used-- my voice was within that report. She’s listening even if she doesn’t realize it.

We cannot use our fridge, so we threw together some pasta and sauce for dinner; it was actually quite good. It wasn’t a fancy meal, but we made do with what we had. It reminded all of us that we are fortunate to be able to have options in a world where so many go to bed hungry.

My migraines have been awful, but I am going to get Botox shots for them on Thursday and I’m trying an infusion that might help. There was a time that I couldn’t get out of bed due to my migraines, but I am able to function now. There are some days when I’m more restricted than others, but I can still go about my life.

Our cat hasn’t been in our family for long. We’ve only had her for six months and she’s 3 years old. However, in the short time she’s been here she’s brought immense joy into our lives. I’ve seen my daughter tend to her, sing to her, and tell her stories. We will do everything we can for her, and I know that she knows she’s loved.

Watching my daughter graduate will be bittersweet. She will be singing the school song and playing the violin at graduation. Watching her grow breaks my heart, but I am so honored I get to have a front row seat as she spreads her wings.

Life is hard and wonderful. We don’t have to choose. We can acknowledge and hold space for all the ways life knocks us down while savoring all the ways it lifts us back up.

From my heart to yours,
Randi

P.S. What’s been hard AND wonderful for you right now?