The Secret Sauce
what I thought it was and what it really is
I used to think that I was the only one felt that pang of loneliness. I thought others had something that I couldn’t attain. The ones who smiled brightly in classrooms; who laughed with their friends; who seemed like they didn’t have a care in the world-- those were the ones who had the recipe to the secret sauce.
I still feel the familiar roar of jealousy when I see those with loving families and supportive villages. Except now, I can sit with it better. I understand my ache while knowing that I am not lacking.
Life isn’t black and white; it is all the shades of the spectrum. There is joy to be found within the pain and there is darkness buried within the light. There is room to acknowledge it all.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to find contentment within the walls of my home. Now my eyes can see the swirls of color that were invisible in my childhood.
Loneliness can be palpable. So can joy. Pain can have its own heartbeat. So can laughter.
We walk this road of life often carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. We feel shame that we have this baggage, and we seek others that can make the load feel lighter.
The truth is, there may not always be someone who can alleviate that burden. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t continue our journey. In fact, it is paramount that we continue to do so. By forging our footprints along the road, we leave a trail for others to possibly follow.
We can live our lives trying to make the road a little less lonely for others. In our worst moments, we crawl in the darkness and pray that perhaps we can light the way for someone else.
That is the secret sauce. We may not get to taste it, but there is comfort in knowing that we helped make it.
From my heart to yours,
Randi
P.S. Thank you to all of you that reached out about our cat and to offer well wishes. I’m delighted to share that she is on the mend. The swelling is dissipating, and she is acting like her inquistive, sweet self!
Thank you for writing it. The first two paragraphs were especially captivating to me because every word felt like it could have come straight from my own mind.
When you try to make life a little less lonely for others, you're already building your own village, one step at a time. At least, that's how I see it. And I'm sure you can taste it too.
For me, the secret sauce is our beliefs—especially our belief in ourselves. Believing in who we are, trusting that we can create the feelings we want to experience, and refusing to let the past define us.
You showed that you have a generous heart. You don’t want others to suffer what you once experienced. That's beautiful. Thank you, Randi.